Exploring the depth of your M-Factor

Ever wondered about the rationale behind some of your jaw-gaping-slap-demanding decisions? 

Well, it is simple; situations such as this as well as all other acts of random foolishness and stupidity are a reflection of the scope and level of our innate M-Factor®, also called Mumu Factor®.

So, what are the signs that you are under the influence...? simple:

• It is raining, you are carrying a brand new umbrella as a gift for someone, and putting all common sense at the bottom of the sea, you preserve a brand new umbrella and get soaked to your teeth.
• You get hit by a parked car or by a NITEL or NEPA pole
• You get attacked by your jeans or shirt while you are getting dressed
• You are asked to give a speech at a funeral and you end it with a toast screaming ‘happy birthday’  and grinning from ear to ear (like my Bush finally took a sensible decision).

If you have done, experienced, or been with someone who has done or is plagued by situations of this nature or similar situations with the same outcome... you have had a taste of M-Factor® at work.

The M-Factor principle explains quite a lot, simply put, it is that factor X that at every point P or time T makes you feel good about random acts of foolishness or stupidity. It is that sense of pride you feel at the end of accomplishing that one act that leaves all of mankind wondering if you were long-marinated in a bowl of complex stupidity as a baby.

So many examples exist in history:

Adolf Hitler 
He started a race/hate campaign that resulted in the extermination of over six million Jews in what he termed 'the final solution" (In its entirety, the "Final Solution" called for the murder of all European Jews by gassing, shooting, and other means) but lo and behold, he was the spawn of Jewish seed himself!! so, he caused the death of about 50 million people directly or indirectly just to prove a point to the world, that

• He wasn't Jewish and
• The Germans, the Aryan race (as they liked to call the purebred) were the most superior race on earth in cerebral capacity and technological development.......

erm, didn’t the Aryan race kinda lose the Second World War and go through an even more humiliating and this time, enforced shame-filled-disarmament??!

Boyzone singer Stephen Gately  
He choked to death on his own vomit after a night of drinking at a gay club.

King Alexander 1 of Greece  
He died from a bite he sustained while defending his pet dog from his pet monkeys!!

Kenneth Pinyan (1960-2005) 
Was killed while having receptive sex with a stallion (horse)

Kenneth Pinyan was a Gig Harbor, Washington (a suburb in the greater Seattle-Tacoma area) resident and was a prolific Boeing employee who engaged in receptive anal sex with full-size stallions at a farm near the city of Enumclaw. He videotaped those sex acts and distributed them informally under the name Mr. Hands. 

 

During a July 2005 sex act, which was being videotaped by a friend of his, he suffered a perforated colon and later died of his injuries. The story was reported in The Seattle Times and was one of that paper’s most-read stories of 2005. Pinyan’s death prompted the passing of a bill in Washington State prohibiting both sex with animals, and the videotaping of the same, some months later.

Aeschylus (525 BC – 455 BC) 

A turtle was dropped on his head by an eagle

As legend has it, an eagle, mistaking the playwright’s bald crown for a stone, dropped a tortoise on his head (though some accounts differ, claiming it was a stone dropped by an eagle or vulture that mistook his bald head for the egg of a flightless bird).

Well, in this case, the Eagle was quite the dumber of the two (the eagle subsequently confessed to the crime of M-Factor induced Murder after it was apprehended drunk in a bar, wallowing in self-pity). 

I am guessing that you just sighed in amazement, didn't you? Amazed at how remarkable some of the M-Factor-driven acts truly are, and also how remarkable some of your not-so-famous gaffes are?

Care to share some of your classic M-Factor moments too? 

Let’s have your thoughts and comments.

How much information about your past, should you reveal to your partner?

Recently, I overheard a couple arguing within an inch of their lives, the husband had packed a few bags, had removed his wedding ring and was moving out of their home.

 …. Apparently, after a night of passionate love making, breakfast in bed and all the works, their sudden rekindled fire was abruptly extinguished in a moment of recklessness during the morning-after-pillow talk

The Cast:

• Husband     (manly man)
• Wife            (Shy, innocent, loving)
• Me              (???)

(Husband) so, darling, I am glad I met you. it is so comforting to know that I can always count on you whenever and wherever you are probably the best thing that ever happened to me

(Wife, blushing) thank you, dear, you know you are the centre of my world and I am your ultimate fan and lover, here to support and satisfy you always

(Husband) I can imagine how difficult it was for you for those two years I was away in the UK for my MBA, you called me every evening and we talked for hours.. just as we are talking now

(Wife blushing) I know, those were trying times my love, I wished I could just wish myself into your arms and I would be there with you. I was kept going, by the way I felt for you, and the memories we had made together…  becoming your wife made the wait all worth it.

----they kiss, and hug---

(Husband) by the way, Akin and his fiancée had a fight, apparently, she lied to him and he found out, something she apparently did before they got married; I think couples should always tell the truth no matter what

(Wife) Really, that’s sad, well, they say the truth sets you free.. thankfully we have stayed true to each other, and will continue to be that way. So, is there anything in your past that you didn’t tell me, that I should know about?

(Husband) Nothing serious, I once had a brief affair with Tolani, the slender girl in your office, it was one night of indiscretion, and I think I mentioned it to you back then (wife sighs heavily) you forgave me for that already (he thinks to himself… I mean that was the naughtiest 12 months with Tolani as my little secret – he remembers the secret encounters in the office elevator the day after he proposed to his wife, and a cold content chill runs down his spine)… and you?

(Wife) you know I keep nothing from you, and you are my best friend and confidant, (husband nods), I have only one secret that has burdened my heart. I guess saying it today would lift a weight off my chest.

(Husband) Hmm, we shouldn’t keep anything from each other, love can handle all things, besides (he thinks to himself- I married a virgin; I know I was her first, I remember our  wedding night, besides, she is so introverted, so how bad could this be?)

(Wife) you remember Steven, my childhood friend, the one that used to lend me his mobile phone to call you and all of that, who I said lost his girlfriend two years ago in an accident? Well, there was this day he came over and was really sad because he got robbed while wandering aimlessly around thinking of her; you should have seen him that day (husband sight, impatiently) well, he eventually came over to mine, and mum cooked for him before going out. He was bleeding and so I had to treat his wounds before he slept off in my arms.

(Husband) Hmm, I have always known you were caring and supportive and would always bend over backward to help your friends, that’s one of the qualities that really got me hooked on you. I hope Steve recovered sha, but that isn’t at all bad.

(Wife cuts in) well, he was so vulnerable and didn’t want to be alone, one thing led to another, and I- I- I (whispering ever so softly now) slept with him 

(Husband cuts in) as in, you guys just slept in the same bed right?!

(Wife sobbing uncontrollably now) I am so ashamed dear, so ashamed to sometimes admit to myself that it even happened.  it rained that night and it was cold, and we were in bed asleep and I was missing you and wanting you so much, and somehow I got lost in the moment, he was wearing the same cologne I bought you, the one I told u ‘does it for me” (wife sobbing now),  the whole room smelt like you and I woke up and realized that it wasn’t you I that I had made love to during the night; I have been unable to look him in the eye ever since and I cut off all correspondence with him.

(Wife still sobbing) I know it’s a lot to take in at the moment, but in the spirit of not keeping secrets within us, please forgive me.

Husband: silence

Wife: silence

Me: Runs into the street yelling "haaaaaaaaa!!!! ara adugbo e wa di weyrey mu o!!!" (in Yoruba)

-end-

1.     Did she really need to reveal that much?

2.     Should he forgive her in the spirit of full disclosure?

3.     Where should we draw the line on ‘truth telling’ in relationships?

We have all been raised to believe in all sorts of clichés, and one such is what played out here; truth be told, in relationships, truth is truth in the context of what is being said, where it is being said and to whom it is being said.  

Then again, why bother, right?

Big Brother: The power of sex and other shenanigans

What’s your flavour? 

When it comes to matters or relating to the bedroom, there is no doubt that there is a stony embarrassed silence that ensures that there is just about enough mystery to keep the fire burning in every human heart. The bees do it. The dogs do it. The birds do it. The cows do it. The elephants do it. Snakes do it. Doves do it. And none of these do it in a room, under the cover of darkness, or hidden in any way. So, why do men (and women) have to wear such a cloak of secrecy for this natural God-given ‘thing’?

The question above is valid. What are we hiding? Why are we in such a hurry to hide it all? Why are we so ‘coded’ and so hidden? Our ‘shame’ simply perpetuates different myths and gives people different perceptions of this really natural and right act. 

I am yet unaware of any other act in the world that has received the worst sort of publicity ever. Sex has been demonized, tortured, abused, battered, criminalized, etc. through the ages. There has been no negative word that has been left upheaped on this normal God-ordained act. 

It is as old as creation itself as it apparently was created at creation. Whether described as man/woman or male/female, masculine/feminine, or any of the other direct opposite words by which various creations in history have been known. Night and day is one. Heaven and earth is another. Light and darkness have also been used. Land and sea. And ultimately, Adam and Eve. All these in the first few books of the bible! Every other religion of course has what it calls its own male/female; positive/negative.

To think that in the beginnings, Adam and Eve for instance must have been having mad sex all the time especially before their eyes ‘opened’ and then as soon as their eyes ‘opened’ God punished them with kids! And is it even remotely possible that Cain killed Abel because of a woman?

 According to the bible, A&E were the first people so there must have been few women C&A’s age so the jealousy could surely have started from Cain wanting what his younger brother had so good. Speculations. But anyway, the bible is full of such stories of sex used for good, sex for sex sake and sex used for bad. And suddenly sex was no longer good. Until such a time as it became that sex was only officially sanctioned between ‘married’ couples. And even then, it had to be done away from all eyes and talk of it must never ‘openly’ occur.

And what has that done? It has helped to turn sex into a multi-zillion currency business. Everyday, everywhere, we trade in sex and pretend that we are not doing any of that. We glorify sex and use our bodies in inappropriate ways to try and get appropriate things. The man or woman who’s involved in the actual act is not the only one ‘guilty’. You are just as guilty if you so much look at a woman ‘somehow’. Or vice versa. In which case, no human being will go to heaven. 

You are guilty if you dress really nice for ‘yourself’ ‘cos others will see your dressing as nice, desire you and then they and you are headed to hell. And the greatest sinners for who the cheerleading positions in hell would be reserved have to be all those women who cover completely including their face leaving just a window to see through because surely they are chief perpetuators of the mystery of sex and would tend to inspire more lustful thoughts in men or other women than those who place their flesh on display!

I am not saying we should all begin having sex in the open. I’m just saying that we should stop making such a big deal of sex. I think we should talk about it as openly as we discuss other topics. And I don’t mean that we should do that in a bawdy manner either. I’m advocating that we should be open about sex. Talk about it. Celebrate it. 

Recognize its pivotal position in humanity. The one instance where one holy book talked of a man born without sex has left the world sharply polarized to date. We have a powerful tool in sex; if only we could use it well. If only we could have mastered the art of adapting it for our good use over millennia rather than vilifying it and turning it into this hideous master that must be worshipped, carried out surreptitiously under the cover of darkness in the best tradition of cloak and dagger games! 

Imagine if, like most of the problems plaguing mankind, we had managed to find a workable and non-shame-filled solution to the sex problem? Wouldn’t it be dandy for instance if men and women could do away with sexual tensions between them by agreeing on upfront, as a norm, what they want from each other and at want point they want it and to what extent? 

Would it be really so bad if you could lay sex aside and deal constructively with each other? I believe that if we could convert the constantly generated and wasted sexual energy of this world into food, there would be no poverty in the world. And if we convert our sexual frustrations into energy, we would generate enough productive-use-energy to light up our planet brighter than the sun and still not fear global warming!

We are wasting away and we know it. We just don’t know what to do about it yet. Our biggest resources lie within us and we can’t even explore them or mine them to the surface and make good of them.

We will surely continue to be as we are. We will not really be any better. We will forever ‘hide’ sex and cry out in horror whenever it rears its ugly, ugly head in acts such as assault, molesting, rape, perverted behaviour, infidelity, dishonesty, death, covetousness, jealousy, back-biting, deviant behaviour, immorality, amorality and other such anomalies.

And we will all continue to be candidates for ‘hell’. Not just the ‘hell’ of fiery fire somewhere between heaven and earth, but the forever erupting and living volcanic hell that dwells in each and every one of us; the one sure hell that can truly destroy us.

Authored by Yinka Ijabiyi