From Abuja, plans changed. The initial plan was to proceed to Lagos for some R&R (for you non-military folk, that’s rest and relaxation) with family friends and loved ones, but that was not to be as I had to wait back and sit in for another activity.
By the way, the Abuja auditions went well, it was an interesting mix of musical passion, pleasure and pain...some folk were so funny they got us in stitches, others just caused you pain...
The kind of pain every little kid dreads.. remember that time you thought to yourself, mummy isn’t here, I can have one juicy piece of dodo (fried plantains), you relish the taste even before it hits your tongue; then you pick up that piping hot piece of dodo seasoned to taste and fried to perfection, then the devil strikes!
Mum walks in and you do the smartest thing your lilliputian mind can conceive (in order to conceal the hot piece of dodo) you shove it into your mouth (then the anguish hits...it is a mixture of pleasure and pain as the burning sensation totally scalds your tongue)! That is the kind of tears-inducing pain that shot through your being, hearing some of these hopefuls, attempt to sing.
The brief stop-over in Lagos was not to be. We proceeded to Calabar, the city where dreams are made, waits are broken and wonderful sights pop out literarily from every corner.
Lovely weather I say to myself as I step off the plane at the Margaret Ekpo airport, it is drizzling, I can already feel the warm embrace of Calabar's bosom, I feel at home as I begin to see visions of giant pots of soup calling my name and singing the happy Femi anthem.. (which ends with the words, my tummy full, my passions alight as in your warm embrace I lie).
I am apprehensive still, although this isn’t my first visit to the land of pleasure and honey, it shall be my longest stretch in the city.. I wonder...would my waist survive the trip? I ponder as I go in search of Monty the whale, my gorgeous abode for the next 5 days.
Planning for the auditions in Calabar was a breeze, having run the sequence successfully in two other locations before now. Day one: meetings, radio interviews, more meetings and then setup begins.
Day two is without incident, save for my being bamboozled into another station for an on the spot interview... (from my experience with Matilda in Abuja, I have totally fallen in love with that bold protruding microphone, and I am actually considering being a radio personality during my fly-by-night-moments), radio presenters are from a totally different planet, but I think I can trace some a micro fragment in my DNA to that planet, else I wouldn’t be loving it all so much! Big-ups to you Matilda-D!
Day 3: Auditions hold at the cultural centre, hundreds show up to sing their hearts out. You can feel the buzz everywhere you turn... I close my eyes and I am transfigured into philosopher mode, where I can see invincible neon signs on the head of each person at the venue, each person has a sign with a single word that read either (YES, NO or MAYBE), how can there be so many YES Signs?! I ask myself... well, 80% of the crowd were female, and like the beer-parlour stories suggest, Calabar indeed has talent, is their talent music-related?, I wonder.
I get back to my room and then I get the BBM that changed the course of my stay in Calabar, it was from my number one hoodie Dora.. (you know it is you girl!), my pips were having ice-cream and chocolate chip cookies (even though I know it is FAN ice cream – as that is the best you can get in this neck of the woods), I rush over to the room I knock on the door..
I step in, say my pleasantries to all who I meet...then it happens, I look upon those eyes. (flash-back) ever found yourself in a situation where everyone is in real time but your mind for whatever reason just chooses to record at 10,000 frames per minute (in production terms, that means in super slow motion!), it took a few minutes for me to realise that my mumu switch had just (almost) been flicked to ON. The last time something similar happened to me.. (er, moving on swiftly...lol)
Yup, there she sat, looking all fine and chiseled like something out of a fairytale, long jet-black hair, eyes that saw into the future and beamed positive thoughts of hope into my mind, lips that could stop a charging bull in its tracks. She had a smile, oh did she have the most honest smile ever, and a charm that would turn any white-coat-British adventurer/soldier into a self-confessed Indian (Ask Captain John Smith of the Pocahontas fame, and he would tell you of what I speak), I introduced myself and so did she, her name was Daeze (I hear wind chimes) chei, Omalicha nwa!
Well, to my frustration, the last bit of ice cream was gulped down by someone (can’t remember who right now, don’t forget I am still shooting in slow motion here). I sit and after a while, I am back to the normal me. Anyways, Ice cream gone, I tuck in and have a drink. We all talk about life in general and our expectations of Calabar, and somewhere in all of this, the word Jasper comes up.
Jasper is to Calabar as cheese is to mice, it is the epitome of fun, friendship and excitement in Calabar, good music, great people, and after the alcohol sets in, great dancers too.
Well, you figured that out already, we headed to Jaspers and took our place in the flames of Calabar night life, as we leaned back to be consumed by it. Myself, MF, Cheech, Dp, Dora, Yinx and Daeze, and our new best friends Jack Daniel, John Hennessy, and the Mayor of Long Island (all correct and accounted for (well, KAT couldn’t make it out that night), the night begins to take shape).
We started out shy and held back our dance moves... Cheech burst the first move with her Igbo version of the American street-dance fad called krunk (sp.), from then on, the more we drank, the dimmer the lights got, the more relaxed we got, the slimmer and taller I felt and the more dancing made sense.
Anyone who knows me knows I cannot dance to save my life; that said, I am not as bad as F-Jay, my adopted brother who is completely tone deaf and dances worse that the average white man and Chinese dude put together. Anyways, the more we drank the more I was convinced that if I didn’t dance, I would be doing humanity a disservice, so, in good faith and to ensure the continuity of the human race, in peace, I danced, and boy did I dance, surprisingly, it felt good. Thanks to the skills of Daeze, Dora and Cheech, ah yes, and Misi!, Ununa gba nkwa ofuma (you ladies can dance o!)
Bonds were forged that night and which I shall carry with me for the rest of my life, bonds born of a mix of good music (after the DJ finally figured out that we were there to dance), great company, good conversations and no forming
The next morning, it was back to work as usual and we had production deadlines to meet. Somewhere between breakfast and dinner, I was asked to sum up my experience in Calabar so far... well, I took a rain check as I still couldn’t get the words to describe the forming impression still swimming around in my alcohol sprinkled brain cells.
On day 4, Daeze was back, tall, gorgeous, clear skin and those eyes.. those eyes, those eyes...(I say that in my best Nollywood home video advert) it must be a sin to look that good and yet be a complete lady and inspire great men to think and do great things, effortlessly. Well, as we did the day previous, great minds once again came together and it was team bonding all the way, I swear, I so much fun that I began to see space-ninja monkeys and kittens dancing alanta!
Then it struck me, the answer to the question I had so skillfully evades earlier in the day, when I was asked to sum up my Calabar experience in a few words. The words came to me slowly.. I felt like the great men of old who had at one point or the other had life uttering messages revealed to them...
In the midst of the chats, giggles and all the fun and excitement, and watching KAT be Kat, Cheech do her thing, Yinx let go and let be, Dora spinning on the turn-mac (well, she D-Jayed from her MAC), and Daeze just being all fabulicious and graceful, the words came to me.
To me, Calabar showed me the true value of safe fun, friendship and bonding, it showed me that I was capable of having fun and having a blast, without the typical feeling of guilt. Calabar gave me Daeze, my new friend...
Calabar was fabulicious!
NB. To my girls Dora, Cheech, Daeze, KAT, I love you guys to bits, just the way you are..!
