Idiocy, the mother of invention...?

Stop! Park!, he barked..

Clad in black, like the devil.. a demon… filth, no.. no roll-on (me thinks)

I oblige, hesitant, thoughts racing

Do I have all I would need
My papers, my sanity and something to give…?

Slowly he approaches, gun totting.. frowning
The gentleman that I am, I smile, I stretch forth my hand for a handshake

Who you be?, he bellows.. (WTF, me thinks)
Your papers and particulars (aren’t they one and the same… me thinks)
I oblige.

Open your booth! Do you mean that of my car, I ask, puzzled…yes! (he barks)
He sees the spare-tyre, my shoes, a walkie talkie, my cutlass (camera in my brain zooms-in and focuses on the cutlass)… he stops, looks at it, blood stained and dripping….

He looks on..my laptop, my books, my smiling-deaf, mute-Rottweiler..(me hopes he is not a dog-lover, for i am in for it now, a dog stuffed in my car booth...hmm).
Then he speaks, strong and stern! I panic…

Wait for it…. Wait for it… wait for it….

Where is the receipt of the laptop he screams, where is your fire extinguisher and the tyres-rims!

At this point, I am perplexed, stunned… I offer a suggestion to him: look at the dripping cutlass…
‘do not teach me my job, he barks”, foolery, idiocy, nincompoop… he mutters

He walks off, and I am dismayed

Then it hits me…I am with my keys, my papers and my car, the lane is free, my destination afar
Of ethics and decency, he bothers not, as he hints softly… oga, any betta na?

My receipts I do not have, my destination afar,
Officer, brother, I say, oya come let us ponder, together, here is a little something for you...

Like lightning he reappears, for once, I can commend.

Speed, agility, passion, dedication, commitment….. all for wanting…
… wanting for a little something, I now suddenly consider giving

Ever vigilant, he assists me to cross the road, like brothers, friends of old, like partners, he helps me cross the road…

My heart tugs at the turn-ups of my well-ironed trousers.. em, my cutlass I ask (hesitant).. did you not notice my bloody cutlass…?

Ah yes! He says…
Careful sah, ketchup rusts metal, and causes red dark stains.

End.