Big Brother: The power of sex and other shenanigans

What’s your flavour? 

When it comes to matters or relating to the bedroom, there is no doubt that there is a stony embarrassed silence that ensures that there is just about enough mystery to keep the fire burning in every human heart. The bees do it. The dogs do it. The birds do it. The cows do it. The elephants do it. Snakes do it. Doves do it. And none of these do it in a room, under the cover of darkness, or hidden in any way. So, why do men (and women) have to wear such a cloak of secrecy for this natural God-given ‘thing’?

The question above is valid. What are we hiding? Why are we in such a hurry to hide it all? Why are we so ‘coded’ and so hidden? Our ‘shame’ simply perpetuates different myths and gives people different perceptions of this really natural and right act. 

I am yet unaware of any other act in the world that has received the worst sort of publicity ever. Sex has been demonized, tortured, abused, battered, criminalized, etc. through the ages. There has been no negative word that has been left upheaped on this normal God-ordained act. 

It is as old as creation itself as it apparently was created at creation. Whether described as man/woman or male/female, masculine/feminine, or any of the other direct opposite words by which various creations in history have been known. Night and day is one. Heaven and earth is another. Light and darkness have also been used. Land and sea. And ultimately, Adam and Eve. All these in the first few books of the bible! Every other religion of course has what it calls its own male/female; positive/negative.

To think that in the beginnings, Adam and Eve for instance must have been having mad sex all the time especially before their eyes ‘opened’ and then as soon as their eyes ‘opened’ God punished them with kids! And is it even remotely possible that Cain killed Abel because of a woman?

 According to the bible, A&E were the first people so there must have been few women C&A’s age so the jealousy could surely have started from Cain wanting what his younger brother had so good. Speculations. But anyway, the bible is full of such stories of sex used for good, sex for sex sake and sex used for bad. And suddenly sex was no longer good. Until such a time as it became that sex was only officially sanctioned between ‘married’ couples. And even then, it had to be done away from all eyes and talk of it must never ‘openly’ occur.

And what has that done? It has helped to turn sex into a multi-zillion currency business. Everyday, everywhere, we trade in sex and pretend that we are not doing any of that. We glorify sex and use our bodies in inappropriate ways to try and get appropriate things. The man or woman who’s involved in the actual act is not the only one ‘guilty’. You are just as guilty if you so much look at a woman ‘somehow’. Or vice versa. In which case, no human being will go to heaven. 

You are guilty if you dress really nice for ‘yourself’ ‘cos others will see your dressing as nice, desire you and then they and you are headed to hell. And the greatest sinners for who the cheerleading positions in hell would be reserved have to be all those women who cover completely including their face leaving just a window to see through because surely they are chief perpetuators of the mystery of sex and would tend to inspire more lustful thoughts in men or other women than those who place their flesh on display!

I am not saying we should all begin having sex in the open. I’m just saying that we should stop making such a big deal of sex. I think we should talk about it as openly as we discuss other topics. And I don’t mean that we should do that in a bawdy manner either. I’m advocating that we should be open about sex. Talk about it. Celebrate it. 

Recognize its pivotal position in humanity. The one instance where one holy book talked of a man born without sex has left the world sharply polarized to date. We have a powerful tool in sex; if only we could use it well. If only we could have mastered the art of adapting it for our good use over millennia rather than vilifying it and turning it into this hideous master that must be worshipped, carried out surreptitiously under the cover of darkness in the best tradition of cloak and dagger games! 

Imagine if, like most of the problems plaguing mankind, we had managed to find a workable and non-shame-filled solution to the sex problem? Wouldn’t it be dandy for instance if men and women could do away with sexual tensions between them by agreeing on upfront, as a norm, what they want from each other and at want point they want it and to what extent? 

Would it be really so bad if you could lay sex aside and deal constructively with each other? I believe that if we could convert the constantly generated and wasted sexual energy of this world into food, there would be no poverty in the world. And if we convert our sexual frustrations into energy, we would generate enough productive-use-energy to light up our planet brighter than the sun and still not fear global warming!

We are wasting away and we know it. We just don’t know what to do about it yet. Our biggest resources lie within us and we can’t even explore them or mine them to the surface and make good of them.

We will surely continue to be as we are. We will not really be any better. We will forever ‘hide’ sex and cry out in horror whenever it rears its ugly, ugly head in acts such as assault, molesting, rape, perverted behaviour, infidelity, dishonesty, death, covetousness, jealousy, back-biting, deviant behaviour, immorality, amorality and other such anomalies.

And we will all continue to be candidates for ‘hell’. Not just the ‘hell’ of fiery fire somewhere between heaven and earth, but the forever erupting and living volcanic hell that dwells in each and every one of us; the one sure hell that can truly destroy us.

Authored by Yinka Ijabiyi